One last take.

It's not really necessary to point out the fact that this blog, along with my poker career (if you can call it that) is on its deathbed. Since september I have played almost no poker at all and there isn't a truly valid reason why. While I have decided to 'give it another go' several hundred times, they have all been completely lacklustre faliures and I'm not very proud of it.

Which brings me to now. I'm currently in France working as a language assistant in a private school, and it's treating me very well. 550 euros a month, free apartment, 18 hours work a week, with free food during the day. I've yet to discover a downside to it so I hope it continues.

Moving on to poker, I haven't put any money into Stars, as I still have 30 dollars leftover from my last withdrawal. I am having one last go at building a bankroll- I've set myself no targets at all apart from to not give up when things don't go your way, and play logically as opposed to thinking that pokerstars 'owes' me after I get coolered or vice versa. For this, I have bought poker tracker (more accurately Tom has a spare code which he has given me, which is incredibly generous.) This will keep me completely honest and tell me about my game so I can pinpoint my mistakes instead of blaming it on life in general which was a convenient and unfortunate habit I had last year.

Talking of which, I think last year my game worsened. While I wasn't throwing money around at the table, I was very loose and it came back to bite me. Online I was most certainly down, somewhere in the region of $150, which doesn't sound much- but when I think about how much online profit I had after 6 months of actually learning the game then I'm very disappointed in my performance. My only saving grace is my slightly above average ability to play live which put me in for a small profit. Online my concentration levels are frankly pathetic, as demonstrated last year. My Willhill and full tilt graphs, and to a lesser extent my stars graph tell quite a story, which you can look at at your own leisure. But enough about how much of an anticlimax last year was, I am giving it one last shot- I can't really say how confident I am but I know it's not 100%.

So, about these last 3 days. With this 30 dollars I have, I am treating it as if it was the first stake Isaac ever gave me. That magical $50 which set me on my way to becoming a semi-reasonable micro-stakes player. Poker tracker has given me all the information I need thus far and I know I am more profitable because of it. No more calling raises with K10 in the small blind or 78s.

My current game is Full ring 10NL and this is what the graph shows.


As you can see I am up roughly 5 buy-ins, up until my dip at the peak I was playing well and running well. I have found that my most profitable strategy is to trap and slowplay as much as possible, but obviously not all the time. The amount of river donk bets I have check called, or the amount of non beleivers looking me up after I check the turn after a C-bet has been the foundation for my small profit so far. While it's fair to say that I'm probably not getting the maximum value out of my hands, for the moment I'm going by small pot won > big pot lost.

I'm running nicely at 8.55BB over just short of 3k hands. At the 2k mark it was 15 which was obviously unsustainable. My first dip came after I made a bad call with an overpair after a guy shoved his stack after he completed his flush on the river. I didn't really understand it as he didn't put the standard value bet in so I called and got the bad news. Incidentally though the 3 previous times I made the same call and they turned out well. The next dip came after I raised JJ into the BB who flat shoved. I dwelled for about 20 seconds and called as I thought that's probably the worst way to get value out of a monster- but I lose on the turn to his 66. That's about as bad as it got. I stuck at it surprisingly and clawed some of it back. I'm going to play another session now.

Reward for the gayest post ever- but I do miss DUPS and I hope that some of the other guys like Isaac Gambon and Hannes will update their blogs and let us know what's going on. As a side note I highly doubt anybody reads this anymore, but I would appreciate a comment just to see if you're all still playing.

Tek care lads. X

Worst month to date!

Well well! My comeback has been quite a faliure thus far. That $160 went down quite quickly! I have been playing $6 sit n gos and below, and the results have been quite disturbing. I have put a good amount of volume in over these last few weeks for a very steady loss. I put this down to partly rust, lack of rythm, more tilt, and less patience, which all together is a pretty lethal cocktail of bummage. I am currently trying to nail the reasonably new 3.30 rebuy 180 man turbos, as the field seems quite weak and 1st is around $550, which isnt bad at all.

As there is nothing positive to mention pokerwise, I'll move onto my new accomodation and city! I have been in modena for a week now, and it is an incredibly beautiful city, lovely architecture, churches, and monuments with latin inscriptions, and of course museums. This of course doesn't interest me at all, but I wanted to sound like a cultured student all the same. I am once again sharing a room, this time with a spaniard called Guillermo Chica, which is an infinitely cool name.

As for the accomodation itself- the following is an extract taken from facebook and the first message sent to Tom Lassey but 3 days in.

"Fuck me i only just set up my internet at modena. There are a CUNT load of spaniards so I will be speaking decent spanish too when I get back! Modena is great, next door to a great food place where it's dirt cheap for students. Our toilet is shit. When you flush the fucker it spurts up and over the edge so if you've just been for a shit it regurgitates it back up your arse in a more liquid form and then some goes on the floor"

And that folks.....is the ugly truth! See you soon guys X

I hath returned!!

Hello again, time for another kick start, its good to be back! After my last post I sort of got fed up with online poker. Whilst still cashing out approximately $150 profit, it was the endless run of pteveyesque going deep and then getting bummed which became disheartening, and along with exams I had no real time to play.

Then came another 9 weeks of envelopes, which was much better than last year.....seeing as the polish bitch staff seargent had been fired, which meant it became more relaxing and we had chance to muck around stapling each other, and using industrial strength glue to stick each other to tables when we weren't watching. This time I earnt a bit more, circa £2.8k, which for the first time in a while put me in a confortable position. During the summer I went back to the casino a few times, and failed to register any tournament success, so I moved onto live cash (50/1) which proved to be a reasonable alternative. The players there were megafish, and a few dickheads, me of course being among them! I went 3 times and came out with a Poker profit of just over a buyin, quite dissapointing judging by the quality of the opposition. One hand which springs to mind was a 120 quid pot, after the table limps and I raise to a tenner with QQ, 3 callers. Flop comes KQx two diamonds and of course someone is holding 85dd which hits, but that was about as bad as it got. Please also note the added word 'Poker' profit, this does not include belling
20 quid on 22 playing roulette.

So last week I arrived in Italy, and its so good to be back to see the family, and the food is just orgasmic unlike the weather at the moment. Playing plenty volleyball- its massive over here and just chilling at my cousins before I head off to Modena. I've redeposited $160 into stars for another crack at sit n go grinding. Hopefully I won't have to withdraw. Anyway it's good to be back, and I am glad everyone is doing well.

Congrats to Hannes for his engagement, and for the record.........I'd fucking eat all those chicken wings. XXXXXXX

Running like the most potent case super duper african death AIDS

See title. A (very) potential $2ks worth of final tables down the shitpan. Go me. Not Posting HH. Lets use our imagination.

Dio Cane

This Blog IS still alive!

Well bugger me. it has been a very long time. This has mainly been because of, until 2 weeks ago not playing poker since the start of March. This is quite a shame actually as my over exitedness at returning to the game has given me stats of 0/269/angry face. Having said that, I have been picking some good spots 3 betting and picking up some pots I wouldn't have before.

Cash games over at the house with the greatest tap in the world have been crazy. 1st one, in for £70, out £80, and the second one I donked off £40 in a bout 17 minutes. First society back I came an undeserved 3rd (as usual), but all in all I'm still up just under £1k since the start of the year which Isn't too bad. Thats all the poker news.

Life news has been less good, as we lost our homes in the earthquake in Italy. The person that I am, I tend not to bother too much about tsunamis and famine elsewhere, but it actually feels wierd when it happens to you. But anyroad, nobody died, and houses can be rebuilt. Other life news includes getting a place at Modena University next year, practically next door to an Aikido dojo, with training on 5 times a week. So that should be FIT, although clearly not as fit as that German bastard in Gibraltar!

I have also been grumpy of late when it comes to football, as Juventus are playing like total shit, Ranieri is going to get sacked, Buffon might get sold to Milan, and Kessies girlfriend is coming up in about 3 hours, so suicide is an acceptable option. I will entrust this blog to Tom, who has found his poker brain at last and is making more money than an Albanian pimp. Right, I am rambling now, and good luck wiht the exams.

-_-

Bit of a catch up.

Amazingly, the following post will contain at least a sentence of Poker news and not all drunken stupidity. (but there is some of that too)

Right first things first, a few weeks ago I went to my friends funeral down in West Sussex, the guy from Durham who fell off Mont Blanc. Without getting too sentimental, he really was such a top man and I will miss him. Also, it's such a nice place down there- 1 pub, 1pond, 1 church, 1 shop, a proper old English village.

Moving on to drinking feats, I probably smashed some sort of stupidity record with 18 jaegerbombs (+ pre lash) something which I will not be doing again as I actually want to live. I wasn't sick and I didn't pass out which was a miracle. That night was the night when that mini me bloke from Austin Powers came and me and Tom had our picture taken with him. He did look scared to be fair as there was James Blunt to his rght and some ugly fat polish cunt to his left. But the star of the show that night was Gambon. Him and Bob came out and we all got smashed, with Gambon tearing up some shapes on the dance floor. Twas a beastly night.

Right Poker time, I'm having to start playing properly (i.e. in a profitable way- my volume has always and will most likely always be poor) to pay for rent like last term. Ideally I would love to keep a roll but at the mo it just isn't possible. I put in another $10 (there was already like $7 in) about 2 weeks ago after I withdrew 70 to pay for the trip to the funeral, and I've started playing $5/$10 double or nothings on PStars. Normally I wouldn't go near these as the rake on places such as Party is obscene at something like $5+1 whereas stars is just 20c. Secondly, it doesn't tilt me as much as heads up, although it can get bollock-shatteringly boring.
I've been grinding some of those, though I wish sharkscope would show it but I've been on other peoples accounts as our internet connection is nothing short of tragic. :D Also made a small profit at 25c/50c 1 tabling with tracker and engaging my brain to full, with no distractions. Thus far I have been playing well and running normally but I will not mke this a regular thing as I don't even have 4 BI for it. Roll is at $160 which is some sort of reasonable %age increase in 2 weeks.

Elsewhere Tom has finally made the transit from donking off money to develop his reads (You can tell I taught him!) to now making comfortable folds and killing 5c/10c. He's had a nice upswing of about £150 in the last week or so, which is about time so I am very happy for him.
Right thats all from me, cherish this newly sober blog.

-147_estrella

LOLLLLLLLLLLL

Yeeeeeas obviously I'm drunk again. Might aswell update mein blög. Erm last month played literally fuck all. I deposited a colossal $10 into stars because I was bored then I span it up to 100 playing 23/50 and running like a beast. thats about it poker wise. For the first time I ended down this year in Pauls Pöker cash spiel by donking off 30 squid in approximately 3 hands. First was le bummage mit QQ to Isaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacs AK AI pre. then I fished for actually no reason with 99 and A 10 knowiing full well I was behind :D..... haaaaaaaaa i got bummed. Many Peni.... is that actually plural? Oh yeas and the last hand I tilted and shoved 7 2 all in pre then got called by Isaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacs QQ and the cunt outdrew me. What are the chances?

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa more news some cunt started on me again!!!!!!!! Should I begin to enjoy this!? He eventually ran off after his very surrey hair cut didnt quite cut it with my thicko polish convict fat head big jaw appearance!!!

In other news Chris Mayh is a cunt! ZOMG ROFLMAO LOLCANOES I not supposed to say that but alles denkt dass es der truth ist.

Here are a few punchlines:

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?......... Prengant.

Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it lt go!

How do you stop a pakistani tank? Shoot the men pushing it!

So there was a family meal in full flow, and the first daughter asked " mummy, mummy, why was I caled Rose?"..... "Because when you were born a Rose flew through the window"..............the next daughter asked the same question"....mummy, mummy, why was I caled Bluebell?..... Because when you werte born a bluebell flew through the window?" And then the Boy asked mmmmahhhaewwwarahhhgughhghfjghgxhflghxfhgn *dribbles a bit*.................." SHUT UP BRICK!"

Thats all I've got for the moment............but here'as an impression...."Facks sayack!", you Fackin kiddin me?"...."I Rayaze".

P.S No Gambons were Stacked in the making of this utterly irrelevant (sp) post.

Roflangebötkopfenschmerzenvaginalsfluessigkeitshimmelgeschaenk. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Right good night everybody. I bid thee all a good life, especailly Paul because small people need our love. We
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